Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
