I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
