no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
