If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize