I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
