So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
