I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
