there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
