I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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