he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
