Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize