Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
