At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize