She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
