I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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