So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
