I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
