If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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