I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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