can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
