I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
