I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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