okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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