I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
