Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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