she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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