How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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