She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
