the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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