Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
