I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize