Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
