Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
