you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
