i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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