is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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