O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
