Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
