WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
