I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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