He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
