i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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