As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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