So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
