I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
only if we run a train.
done.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
