I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
