you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize