how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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