I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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