I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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