And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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