I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
