My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You're earring is so big in my mouth
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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