Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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