I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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