It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize