She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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