He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
third nipple confirmed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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