He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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