I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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