Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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