just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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