oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I had to cum in my sink.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
